Words by Ted

So I haven't blogged in a while. I'm not sure how I feel about it and I could produce a list of excuses, some valid, some not. Either way, it's a new year so we all get a fresh start!

Last week a friend of my mother's was staying over our house. A family member of hers had passed away and the funeral was in Jersey. Since she lived in Delaware, she stayed over for a few nights to get everything straightened out and so she didn't have to travel far for the service. She was having a host of other family problems as well, which I won't get into, but let's just say she was having a really bad week.

The morning of the funeral, as one can imagine, the mood in the house was somber. As her, her husband, and my mother were getting ready to go to the service and funeral, I was getting ready for work and the library. She called up to me from downstairs, "Hey Teddy, would you mind if we said a Mi Sheberach before we go?" For those of you that do not know, the Mi Sheberach is a prayer you say for someone who is sick or is in need of uplifting of some sort. It is a powerful prayer, one of the few that I find personally meaningful and have a spiritual connection to. Thanks to Debbie Friedman, her version has become a staple of almost every Reform and Conservative synagogue's liturgy (Click Here to hear a version of the song).

So I sang the version of the hymn I know. I could hear my mother's friend crying downstairs and when I went down there to give her a hug, I saw how emotional it had made her. 

After everyone left and I was on my way to work, I started to think a little bit more about what had just happened. My mother's friend is more strict than I when it comes to practicing and I am positive she knew the song. Her husband as well I'm sure was familiar with it. She did not need me to lead her through the song, she could have sang it on her own had she wanted to. Clearly though, she did not. She turned to me, a man who she has seen grow up from birth, to help her. It's difficult to explain in text what this meant to me.

From this experience I have learned three things. Firstly, the power of words. Anyone who has watched the news recently or kept up with the bullying scandals around the country (most notably that which occurred at Rutgers University) knows just how harmful words can be. Alternatively, they can be just as uplifting as destructive. I cannot imagine what my mother's friend is going through, but I do realize that the "thank you" I received after singing that song was heartfelt and sincere. Those particular words, if only for a moment, brought some relief to a women who was suffering drastically. Second, I was reminded just how much I've grown up in the past two to three years. This woman has seen me through all the stages of life, even those in which I am not that proud of. For her to reach out to me shows me just how much maturing I have done recently. 

Lastly, and most importantly, it reaffirmed for me, once again, that Jewish leadership is something I want to be a part of my future. As a Jewish Studies major and someone involved with the Jewish community, I regularly get asked "Jewish questions". They range from questions about history and philosophy to halakhah and practice to my own beliefs about God. Personally, I love answering them. I love talking about the thing I most passionate about. However, this situation was a bit different. I provided for someone an experience, a meaningful, impactful, JEWISH experience that helped them in some way. Whether is was to help her cope or simply a distraction for a moment, I provided for her the experience she wanted and needed at that particular moment in her life. It felt good inside to help someone, an adult who has known me my whole life, and who has helped me so many times before. One should never wish the death of a loved one on anyone, but when that situation does arise, always remember that sometimes words (or in this case a song) can mean all the difference.